On the perpetual quest to set the standard of care and professionalism in the area of adoption, Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., has instituted its own Blog. This Blog will encompass many unique insights of Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., about adoption law, practice, and procedure. Some entries will be relaxed and rather laid back like our office mascot, Bert.
As Steven and Joel Kirsh have been practicing exclusively adoption law over the 30 years and have handled in the range of 3000 successful adoptions, there are very few situations the two of them have not seen or been involved with. Having made such a bold statement, every day presents interesting situations. Stay tuned to hear about them.
Blogs will be as regular as possible and will cover the gamut of legal issues, adoption stories, and encouragement from professionals in the field.
We would love to hear your feedback regarding the Blog and questions or issues you would like to have addressed. Please forward your questions, inquiries, statements thoughts to us at blog@kirsh.com.
Thank you very much for tuning in and reading,
Joshua A. Kirsh
Community Outreach Coordinator
Haitian Orphans
Posted by: Steven Kirsh
January 22, 2010
Topic: Haitian Orphans
The recent tragedy in Haiti has caused many to inquire about adopting Haitian orphans. The media has reported that plane loads of orphans have left Haiti for the United States.
What Adoption is All About
Posted by: Steve Kirsh
August 18, 2009
Topic: What Adoption is All About
This past weekend I had the pleasure of playing golf with one of my former clients and his twenty year old daughter, whom he and his wife adopted as a newborn. Katie (not her real name) is a delightful, self-confident, charming, young lady. She plays on her college golf team and carries better than a B average (in spite of having dyslexia). When you talk to Katie, she looks you in the eye; she has a firm hand shake. She did not lose her composure when she hit a bad shot. In fact on the 16th hole, I commented about an unlucky bounce that she got, leaving her with a very awkward shot back to the fairway. Her response was, "That's all right. Sometimes you learn more from those kind of shots". I thought to myself what a mature, healthy attitude she has. I understand that golf is just a game, but it shows a lot about a person's character.
I know that Katie's birth mother wanted what was best for her daughter, and when she made an adoption plan for Katie twenty years ago, she wanted Katie to have all the opportunities that she could not provide. If she ever has a chance to meet Katie, I am certain that she will know she made the right decision.
Katie is what adoption is all about. As an innocent newborn, Katie had her whole life in front of her. She was adopted by a family who gave her a world of opportunities, nurtured her, and loved her so that she could reach her full potential. Of course, Katie is only twenty years old. With God's blessings, she has more of her life ahead of her than behind her. Katie will do great things and will make both her birth parents and adoptive parents proud.
That Very Winter by Mia Hinkle
Posted by: Steve Kirsh
October 08, 2008
Topic: That Very Winter by Mia Hinkle
She came bearing gifts. Timeless treasures wrapped in heavy brown paper with little clods of black soil mixed up with dry bulbs and withered stems. That warm autumn weekend we turned the hard clay soil in my yard and planted irises and day lilies and peonies that had been dug up from her garden and her mother's garden over 600 miles away.
That very winter, she died.
Pregnancy Pact - You Can't Make this Stuff Up!
Posted by: Steven Kirsh
June 27, 2008
Topic: Pregnancy Pact - You Can't Make this Stuff Up!
In a new low to understanding what it takes to be a parent, 17 girls at Glouscester High School in Massachusetts made a pact to get pregnant, allegedly so they could raise their babies together. None of the girls were older than 16 years old. If it were not true, no one would believe this story.
My guess is that if they had all decided to get puppies and raise the puppies together, it would have been bad news for the puppies. Raising a child takes a life-long commitment, and there are no "pause" buttons. It is not a game. It is not a science fair project. It is not something that someone, so immature to make such an outrageous decision, should attempt. The consequences for mother and child are nothing less than forever, life-altering.
Unplanned pregnancies occur. Adoption offers a second chance for mother and baby. In this case, there was nothing accidental about the pregnancies. What are the chances that either the mothers or babies will achieve their full potential? If the statistics about teen pregnancy hold true, there is a 25% chance each girl will have another baby while they are still teenagers; 80% of them will not complete high school; 60% will end up on welfare; and 85% of the babies will live in poverty.
We should all, collectively, cheer when a woman, who finds herself unexpectedly pregnant, makes an adoption plan for her precious baby. Those women are the heroes of our society. The girls at Glouscester High School could not possibly have understood the consequences of their decision. Heaven help them and their innocent babies.
Through My Eyes... A Birth Mother's Perspective
Posted by: Steve Kirsh
May 19, 2008
Topic: A Carnival of Pain, Uncertainty, and Hope
This is the third of three essays which an adoptive mom wrote about the adoption of her son and his meeting his birth mom 18 years later. The birth mom wrote the this essay. All are well written, moving, and a tribute to the love and devotion two mothers share for their child.
Through My Eyes... A Birth Mother's Perspective
By Bobbie Jo Martin-Hughley
I wrote a letter February 18, 2008, to Attorney Steven Kirsh regarding the adoption of my son he handled 18 years ago. I was not really able to speculate the outcome and I half expected no results at all, but I asked if he could possibly arrange a meeting and or written correspondence with my son and his family.
To my surprise, by son's adoptive mother called me just two days later. I was speechless and wanted to cry but I held my composure. I'm often at a loss for words. She asked if she could meet with me first. "Yes, certainly," I said. We arranged a meeting at Starbucks for the following Saturday. The rest of the week I was a nervous wreck. I wanted them to like me. I wanted them to know that I simply would like to meet my baby now grown up, and to possibly get to know him a little. Nothing more.
Saturday came. I wondered what to wear. I even wondered if I should buy the coffee. I was so nervous, my husband prayed with me before I left the house. As I got closer to the coffee shop, I was so excited and anticipated I might be a bit emotional. After all, I thought, I am meeting the parents of the baby I gave up 18 years ago. I hoped that I would not say something silly. As I walked into Starbucks, they stood and greeted me with hugs and tears.
They handed me an envelope of pictures they had gathered for me. As I stared at first picture I was totally speechless and finally the only thing that came out of my mouth was a tearful, "I could never have raised him as you have."
The two people sitting in front of me were warm, patient, funny, and intelligent. I saw then the kind of love my baby had grown up with. I desperately wanted them to know that I would never want to interfere with that. After an hour or so of an emotional first meeting, I left totally filled with a sense of peace. But I still wondered if my son would in fact want to meet me and his sisters.
A few days later - it seemed like forever - I received a phone call from his mom saying that he did in fact want to meet us. We agreed to meet for dinner at a restaurant called The Journey on Friday, February 29, at 5:30pm. I was elated with the news and could barely finish working the rest of the day. I arranged to get off work early so I could prepare for my meeting with him. I called my husband and everyone else I could think of to spread the wonderful news, then and only then was I able to finish my work.
As we approach the restaurant I begin to nearly hyperventilate. What will he think of me? Will he be disappointed? Will he be embarrassed? All these thoughts go through my head as we walk towards the entrance of the restaurant. I suck it up and go in. I search for them, and I see his mom walking towards us. My son is sitting next to his dad. Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! This is it! This is really it! I am really meeting my son! A lump swells in the back of my throat and I swallow hard. He stands up with a big smile on his face as I walk toward the table. I stand speechless with my hand to my mouth. No words can express that moment which is forever engraved in me. He spreads his arms and embraces me as I embrace him with tears of joy and pain. My pain finally has closure. I can heal now. I can move past all my wrongs and replace them with the comfort of knowing I made a good decision for real, for once in my life.
My daughter hit it off very well with her brother right away, which does not surprise me at all as she is very outgoing and self confident. The two of them made connections with their musical interests and abilities as well as their possible career choices. Although they look more alike in early pictures, they are clearly brother and sister possessing the very same genes as their birth mother and birth father. This moment blessed me richly.
The evening went very well. He was able to ask me two questions which evoked emotional answers. I was so happy to be answering these questions and I want to answer more. I felt at the end of the evening that there was more he wanted to ask but was not able to. As we parted we all hugged.
Feeling anxious, I went home and after pacing for a few minutes with millions of thoughts running through my head, I went to my bedroom and cried. These were tears of joy, pain, old memories, years of wondering, and envy. I wanted, no I needed to talk, but my husband was at work and my younger girls just don't understand the intensity of my feelings about this. So instead I internalized it and remained a quiet mess through the night.
Then a few weeks later on March 22, we again met for dinner, this time at my home, which as it turns out is just 20 minutes from where my son grew up. My husband and younger girls were happy to finally meet him - the girls had really wanted to meet him right away. My parents and my oldest daughter were there along with my son, his parents, and his 15 year old brother. It was a real houseful. All five kids between 15 and 20 sat at the kitchen table and talked and laughed and teased one another like old friends. We shared more photos and stories, and watched March Madness college basketball on TV.
The evening was over too quickly. In hindsight, it felt more like a regular family gathering than the momentous occasion it really was.
